I believe in the sun,even when it is not shining.

I believe in love ,even when I can not feel it.

I believe in God,even when He is silent.

Written by an anonymous Jewish prisoner during the holocaust.

I can only imagine the faith that this person must have had to still BELIEVE in the midst of all that suffering. I would hope my love and faith in the Lord would remain with me in such a situation. It would be so easy to blame God. Yet this courageous soul didn't. Would I be as strong? I wonder.

I've not had a great week. Seen better you know? I don't know if any of you out there suffer from depression or know someone that does but it can be a beast you have to slay. I usually don't have to much trouble with it,I take my pills, they work, life goes on. But once in a while it will knock me down and let me know that it's still around. Then it is a struggle to stay on top of it. This week it stopped in to say hello again.
I don't want to get out of bed then, I cry over anything or nothing. The feelings of worthlessness kick in. Self loathing thoughts start in. I start to feel as if I am taking up space and air that I am not deserving of. I don't want to talk or think or move. I sleep an excessive amount always with the mind numbing t.v. on. It's easier not to think when the t.v. is on. Depression can be a bitch to overcome.
It really can. But I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Because I don't get these episodes very often AND (and this is a big one) I recognize it when it is coming on so I can get to the doctor before it gets as bad it can get. I usually just need to have my medicine adjusted and in a week or so I'm climbing back up again.
I worried about writing about this. I thought to myself "Hey so far these people don't think your a nut case yet,why take the chance they will?" But then I thought, this is a part of me. Not one of my best parts but all the same it is. So here I am just Pie, Trying to pull myself up by my boot straps one more time. And starting to see the sun behind the clouds.